Chris Marr

Chris Marr is a respected authority on coaching client communication and boundaries. He is the founder of The Authoritative Coach and the author of Become an Authoritative Coach: Stop People-Pleasing, Challenge Your Clients, and Be Indispensable. Over the past 15 years, Chris has worked with professionals across industries—helping them build stronger, more authoritative relationships with clients. His approach focuses on eliminating people-pleasing behaviours, asserting professional boundaries, and helping experts become indispensable partners in their client’s success. Chris is also the creator of the People Pleaser’s Path to Authority assessment, a practical tool that identifies self-sabotaging behaviours and maps the way forward. Known for his Scottish charm and practical mindset, Chris brings powerful insights that shift how professionals show up in their businesses.

Have your client relationships ever felt more draining than rewarding?

On this episode of Talking with the Experts, Rose Davidson is joined by Chris Marr, creator of The Authoritative Coach and author of Become an Authoritative Coach, to help professionals shift from people-pleasing to powerful.

Chris shares a compelling story from his 15+ years of working with coaches, consultants, and business owners who struggle with setting boundaries, asserting expertise, and having honest conversations with clients. He believes the need to “be liked” is a silent business killer—and in this episode, he shows you how to break free.

Through personal insights and his practical People Pleaser’s Path to Authority framework, Chris teaches how to:

✅ Recognize subtle self-sabotaging behaviours
✅ Build confidence through communication
✅ Shift from reactive to proactive leadership

You’ll walk away with strategies to transform your client relationships into partnerships built on mutual respect and trust.

This episode is for anyone who wants to step into their full authority, lead with clarity, and create a more sustainable, profitable business.

🔑 THREE Key Takeaways

1. How people-pleasing weakens business authority and profitability
2. Simple frameworks for confidently setting and holding client boundaries
3. How to lead client relationships with respect, clarity, and control

Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

• Rose Davidson introduces the podcast ‘Talking With The Experts’ and welcomes Chris Marr as the guest.
• Chris Marr is introduced as an expert in client communication and authoritative client relationships, with a focus on helping professionals overcome people-pleasing habits.

Reasons for People-Pleasing Behaviour

• Chris Marr discusses the origins of people-pleasing behaviour, attributing it to societal norms and upbringing that encourage politeness and conformity.
• He mentions phrases like ‘children should be seen and not heard’ and ‘turn that frown upside down’ as examples of how people are trained to mask their true feelings and behaviours.

Impact of People-Pleasing on Professional Authority

• Chris Marr explains how people-pleasing behaviour can undermine professional authority and expertise.
• He highlights that avoiding difficult conversations due to fear of being rude or causing discomfort can erode one’s authority and diminish business success.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries and Asserting Authority

• Chris Marr suggests reframing difficult conversations as ‘high-stakes conversations’ that can actually strengthen relationships.
• He emphasizes the importance of setting conditions for success with clients, rather than just setting boundaries, to ensure mutual understanding and alignment.
• Marr outlines 16 types of conversations that should be had with clients before starting work, including discussing past experiences, expectations, and potential obstacles.

Building Confidence in Challenging Conversations

• Chris Marr advises that confidence in challenging conversations comes from practice and skill acquisition.
• He recommends identifying a specific problematic conversation, practicing it, and reviewing the performance to improve.
• Marr suggests using a structure like FOR (Focus, Outcome, Role) to frame these conversations and set expectations.

Handling Client Resistance and Ensuring Alignment

• Chris Marr discusses the importance of making clients feel comfortable with the conversation process and ensuring they understand the timeline and plan.
• He advises against skipping critical conversations even if the client appears agreeable or well-behaved, as things can change over time.
• Marr suggests changing tactics if a client seems too agreeable, ensuring that standards and expectations are not compromised.

Resources and Further Learning

• Chris Marr mentions his Instagram, LinkedIn, and website (theauthoritativecoach.com) as places where listeners can find more resources and engage with him.
• He highlights his book ‘Become an Authoritative Coach’ and a free five-day coaching program available on his website to help professionals improve in areas identified by an assessment.

Final Thoughts on Communication Skills

• Chris Marr emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the development of communication skills for influencing others, gaining respect, and achieving success.
• He encourages professionals to be more deliberate in improving their communication skills, regardless of their current level of proficiency.

• People-pleasing behaviour stems from childhood conditioning to be polite and acceptable, which carries into professional settings and undermines authority.
• Setting boundaries, termed ‘setting the conditions for success,’ involves having 16 types of critical conversations with clients before starting work to manage expectations and ensure a successful working relationship.
• Confidence in having challenging conversations with clients is built through practice, repetition, and skill acquisition, similar to learning any new skill.
• To effectively engage clients in critical conversations, professionals should use a structured approach involving focus, outcome, and role to set expectations and prevent future problems.
• Professionals should never skip critical conversations with clients, even if clients appear well-behaved or agreeable, as these conversations serve as an insurance policy against future issues.
• Professionals should maintain their standards and expectations when working with clients, bringing clients into their organized and professional world rather than compromising their own standards.
• Chris Marr’s website, theauthoritativecoach.com, offers a free assessment and a five-day coaching program to help professionals identify and improve their people-pleasing behaviours.
• Improving communication skills is crucial for influencing people, gaining respect, and achieving buy-in for one’s ideas, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing communication skill development.

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